Saving 12-Year-Old Me from the Avengers

Twelve-year-old me is positively beside himself about the Avengers movie coming next spring. And, I have to admit, 41-year-old me is pretty excited about it, too. I have never done an opening night, midnight screening of a movie, but I told Tracy and Jack when we left the theater after seeing Captain America that I am all about it for the Avengers premiere!

The interwebs and Twitterverse were abuzz last week when the first official trailer for Avengers was released. I was so excited when I finally hit the “play” button on my iPad, but, if I’m honest with myself, I was ultimately pretty let down by it.



There were three things that played against it for me...

First, the bulk of the trailer’s action sequences consisted of the explosions filmed in Cleveland this summer. When director Joss Whedon and his crew descended on Northeast Ohio earlier this year the Avengers hype reached a pretty high mark. I was fortunate enough to hear all kinds of cool behind the scenes details about the big budget production from a fellow POP! club member who was an extra during filming, and I don’t think I know anyone who avoided long and short clips of the action filmed here playing on the local news and YouTube months ago.

Second, the use of Nine Inch Nails’ “We’re in this Together” off 1999’s The Fragile felt horribly out of place. It was similar to my reaction rewatching the Ben Affleck Daredevil movie recently: The soundtrack dated the movie horribly. My affection for Nine Inch Nails, though deep, apparently does, in fact, know bounds.

Finally, there’s the thing that really rubbed me completely the wrong way about the trailer: Samuel L. Jackson’s first line in the trailer as Nick Fury is the answer to Agent Coulson’s off screen question, “What do we do?” And instead of a “We kick some ass!” or “We defend Earth!” or any number of bad ass quips you could hope for, you get a completely neutered, “We get ready.”

Wait.

What? We just... get ready?!

Every time I hear that line, it’s delivered in my head in Eddie Murphy’s mocking-the-up-tight-black-cop “You’re not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe” voice from Beverly Hills Cop.



Now, I realize this is a “getting the band together” movie, and the overall theme of it probably is actually about, well, getting ready… the heroes we’ve seen in all the other great Marvel movies being gathered by S.H.I.E.L.D. and preparing for battle against this movie’s Big Bad. But, man, I really expected more badassery out of the gate when Nick Fury first opens his mouth.

I guess I need to avoid any more promotional hype for this juggernaut whenever I can, for my sake and the sake of 12-year-old me who really, really wants to love this movie.